BARBADOS

Barbados is a lush, green island where Tiger Woods honey- mooned and green monkeys run wild. I only have one day here, so my Scottish/Asian cosmetician friend Suzy and I get off the ship wanting to see some monkeys. We hire a taxi driver to take us to the highlands to see some monkeys in the wild.

We load up on ginger beer and sticky island sweets and he takes us up into the hills. We are expecting to be taken to a secluded piece of wilderness where the monkeys commune peacefully in their natural habitat in the trees. Our driver stops at a roadside souvenir stand outside of a house. We get out of the car, rather confused, and he introduces us to a couple of his friends. They then bring out two little monkeys on leashes, one of which is named Leroy Brown and wears a little blue jersey. They crawl all over us and scratch at our feet.

Not really what we had in mind, but whatever, it'll do.

Then when we have taken our photos and are ready to leave, our driver's friends try charging us for the privilege of being shown his captive monkeys. I refuse, then am told that I must then buy something from his souvenir table. I buy a $5 leather bracelet.

Like I said before, the Caribbean... Ugh.