SPRING 2005

Like thousands of others year-round, I sailed the same waters that Columbus sailed 500 years ago; not on a Spanish galleon, but on a floating mega-resort called a cruiseship.

The Caribbean is cruise central. Rightly so, considering its 1 million square miles of silky sea and over 7000 islands of fine sandy beaches. Each island port regularly docks up to 10 giant ships at a time, bringing an onslaught of some 20,000 souvenir-buying, picture-taking tourists a day. The region is tailor made for the industry; the everlasting sunshine and 80 degree water make it the perfect all-inclusive getaway from reality.

I worked and lived onboard the Celebrity Summit while it cruised the Caribbean for two months. The ship did 10 day cruises out of Fort Lauderdale and sailed into the islands of St. Maarten, St. Lucia, St. Kitts, Barbados, St. Thomas, Key West, Cozumel, Aruba, and Grand Cayman. The Caribbean is a fascinating place. Since colonization of the area was like a haphazard game of Monopoly, European influences are still evident in island architecture, language, food, and school uniforms.

In all honesty, I don't really care for the Caribbean. I flew into St. Maarten with romantic visions of blue lagoons and pirate caves. After a few days of jetskis and banana boats, I realize that there's not much here to inspire me, just miles of beach and duty free shopping. The Caribbean isn't the kind of place you travel to, it's where you would go for a week to bake under the sun with all the other pasty suburban tourists wearing fanny packs and SPF 50 sunblock. Not that there is anything wrong with that, I just wanted something more. I tried commendably to find meaning and satisfaction, but the results were always the same: mediocre food, fairly unfriendly locals, uninteresting ports, no real sense of adventure. However, it is fun. And relaxing.

I suppose I should have known better, the Caribbean being the madly overrun tourist zoo that it is. I expected the tacky souvenir stands and package tours. I didn't expect there to be a KFC on every street corner.